Perspective

I know, I know, I love everything about this change. But I mean it. I really love all the ways it has changed my attitude about everything. From material things, to my time, to the people I love, to money...it has shifted my focus in more ways than I imagined it would.

This is embarrassing but for Jack's first birthday (over two years ago now), I had ordered one of those cute little chalkboard signs that had all of his milestones on it. I probably spent too much time looking for the absolute perfect one on Etsy. Then I ran and had it printed at a local printing company. It was just what I wanted. I brought it home, and when I got inside, I just barely rubbed it against something and it made a white smear across it from the ink being smudged. I took this pretty hard. Cory, being the amazing husband he is, came up with immediate solutions. He offered to run back to the store and just have it made again. That wasn't good enough, I wanted that one. How in the world was I going to make everyone think I was a good mom if I didn't have an absolutely perfect little chalkboard sign like the ones I saw on Pinterest? Cory ended up just lightly rubbing the ink over most of the sign and it actually gave it more of a chalkboard feel, it looked like it was written on a used chalkboard...it turned out just fine. I survived it. The party was still great. My son was shown a ton of love that day. And I am still a (relatively) good mom...perfect sign or not.

I can't believe how different I feel about parties these days. Charlotte's birthday was just last week. And I had bought her decorations on sale a few months ago. They have been sitting in a box in her closet, waiting for their big chance to shine. Simple stuff-- a couple of paper lanterns, napkins, etc. I didn't spend much money, but I was still excited about it.

Today was actually the day that we were going to have her party. It was going to be at her Grandma's house, where there is a big, beautiful in-ground pool. But I had to cancel that party because my entire family (myself included) have all been sick for about a week now. I hoped so much that we would somehow get over it just in time, but it wasn't the case. I had to cancel. And it broke my heart, mostly because I feel bad for Charlotte. She won't have a first birthday party. But you know what? She is sitting here on the floor, ruining a UPS envelope and she is as happy as a clam. I know she won't ever hold a grudge over a party that we honestly couldn't make happen. And we are all otherwise happy and healthy, so I am even less frantic over this party mishap than I was about Jack's chalkboard.

P E R S P E C T I V E

There are FAR worse things that can happen to a family than an upper respiratory infection and a cancelled party. Things that I don't even want to mention because I can't imagine any of it happening to me.  And this process I feel has honestly made it so much easier to focus on what's important. When you start seeing things for what they are...just things. And when you start seeing your time as more valuable than anything else-- you start to shift all your focus on the good stuff like the people you love, time for yourself, or just a good book. I haven't browsed Etsy for hours in a very long time...I haven't spent time sulking over something that broke or a shirt that got stained. I have used my time and energy more on the things that really matter. My kids. My husband. Myself.

We have booked a vacation to a beach. We are going to more Royals games this year. We are going indoor-skydiving in just a couple of weeks. We have said "yes" to everything we could find a babysitter for. That's where my time and money is going to these days...memories with the people I love.