2018

With 2018 quickly approaching, I thought I'd share a few of my resolutions goals for the upcoming year.

1. Set boundaries. Goooooood night, I need this one. I am just too easy going. Too giving. Too willing. Even when it means it puts me or my own family on the backburner.

Which brings me to 2: Say "no" more often. Not in a rude way. But just saying "I can't, but thank you" or "good luck"  I need to say 'no' to events that I just don't want to go to.  I need to say 'no' when too much is being asked of me. I need to say 'no' when it doesn't serve me.

Also related ...3.  Stop making other peoples' problems MY problems. Its what I do. Its natural to me. I always want to help. Someone can say "my couch has a hole in it" and my brain immediately thinks "I HAVE A COUCH, DO YOU WANT MY COUCH?? HERE'S MY COUCH! TAKE IIIIIT!" And that's just the easiest example, I can think of plenty more emotionally complex ones that take a larger toll on my peace. And those scenarios are usually when I am going out of my way to "help" and the person is still just living their carefree life, not worried about a thing, while I carry whatever load I took on. (please look into co-dependency if you feel like this is you. You don't have to keep doing these things, you can live YOUR life without the burdens of other peoples' choices. I know co-dependency is linked to alcohol and drug use frequently, but it can relate to just about anyone who feels this way)

4. Let go. The purging has been good. So good. It feels better all the time. And I want to keep this up. And it just miiiight include people this time.

5. Use less. I love finding new ways to consume less, its like a little mini-hobby (gosh, that makes me sound old) But I love when I know I can make less of an impact on the planet with a small change. The average woman throws away 300 POUNDS of feminine products in her life, and that's just one woman! I encourage you to do this as well, look around you and find ways that you can cut back. Reusable paper towels, use less soap, reusable grocery and produce bags, try to do all of your errands at once to save gas, etc. It will save you money and if we all do it, it will make a positive impact on the only planet we have!

6. Wash my makeup off at night. I rarely wear it, but when I do, its for 3 days straight (I know some skin care gurus are probably cringing on that one...sorrrryyyy)

And finally :
 7. Say sorry less.

Ch Ch CHAAAAAAAAAANGES

Hey guys!! It's been forever, right?  Sorry about that (if you cared. If you don't care...then...you're welcome? haha)

I check my Timehop and Facebook memories every single morning, and I always love what I see. Tons of posts of my kids and videos of them just being babies. Its a great way to start my morning, and to remember how lucky I am. Today when I checked it, I saw a post about that time I went absolutely crazy over a Nintendo that I couldn't find to buy (you can cringe at that post here : https://ex-cess.blogspot.com/2016/11/wake-up-call.html ) PS: still don't have that Nintendo, Cory never cared...and I honestly forgot it existed until I read that post this morning.

And it made me realize that I have not kept anyone up to speed on all of the changes going on around here...exciting changes. And today seemed like an oddly perfect day to pick the blog back up because I am feeling SO SO SOOOOO good about the things happening in my world, so here's what I have going on right now! -- This is going to be a LONG one, because you guys know me, I just keeeep talking!

Just last week, I put a ton (and I mean a literal TON) of things in my garage and I opened up my home to my friends to come "shop" in it. There were things like name brand shoes, clothes, purses, and home decor, etc etc. I charged $1 for most things and meant to charge $3 for things that I specifically remember being pricey, but when it came time to ask money from people that I love, I never made the price that high! Most things went for $2 or less, which honestly made me shiver numerous times. I was watching shirts that I spent $30ish on...leave my house for $1. There were times that I almost said "sorry, I changed my mind!!!' and tried to keep the sweater that still had tags on it...but I held strong and I let it go. All of it. Purses that I spent hundreds on left for $10 or less. But every single thing I sold had been sitting in my closet, unused for as long as I can remember. So it wasn't really about the money, it was about my peace. Business casual clothes that I have not needed in at least two years were still cluttering up my closet, making it hard to find pieces that I really loved. I had stared at all of it and felt actual guilt every time I browsed my closet. Guilt that this tee doesn't fit me anymore, or that this dress *still* has a tag on it and I *should* wear it. But I never did. They were passed over on countless date nights, over and over again.

GUILT.

Ashley Thomas (you guys probably know her! She's one of my favorite tell-it-like-it-is humans on this planet) came over and got real with me. She went through every single thing in my closet and put them in piles. She could tell immediately by my face if it was something I really loved. And she forced me to make decisions (or made them herself) that at the time, kinda burned me. She threw some shirts in the "get rid of" pile that actually made me physically upset..and I tried to come up with excuses for why I should be allowed to keep most things, but the excuses fell flat (things like "but I paid a lot for it" or "what if I need that swimsuit cover-up...what if the other 5 cover-ups we just went through spontaneously catch fire?!?!")

So it all left. I made $233 cash from it (I'll let you know my plans for that money later)...which is honestly a drop in a bucket (more like wheelbarrow) to what I spent on it all. But that's something I needed to do (AGAIN!) I needed to stare it all in the face, I needed to see where hundreds (maybe thousands?!?) of dollars went. I needed to watch it all leave, so I could try to make some much needed changes around here. My hope is that I will be inspired by my smaller wardrobe now, that I will quit buying things "just because it's cheap" or "just because its cute". Sure,  I still enjoy buying clothing...but this week has been SO different. I went shopping a few times at my favorite places: Cargo Largo (if you are lucky enough to live near it, I recommend it!) Target, and TJ Maxx.

Cargo Largo has always been a problem. They have such unique and inexpensive stuff that I can go in there not needing a single thing but still spend $100. I was in the market for some black tights to wear under my sweater dresses this season, and of course they had an entire wall covered in different patterns/brands/styles/textures. My impulse was to grab all the ones I loved...which I was able to narrow down to 4...all were black but were just sliiiightly different than the next one. I put them in my cart and moved on. I found dresses, booties, and so many other cute things that I instinctively put in my cart...only to realize that I was doing exactly what I didn't want to do.So I put it all back. All of it, except for ONE pair of black tights. And I probably saved myself an easy $80 by not going crazy in there.

Just got home from TJ Maxx, and I got to go ALONE which is always bad for the wallet. Not having Cory look at me and say "don't you have a sweater just like that at home?" means that I will buy sweaters that are identical to ones that I have at home (**face palm emoji** ) So I did just that, I filled my cart with sweaters, shoes, jackets, and workout apparel. I only went for a black leather jacket, because I feel like it is a staple (and my old leather jacket doesn't fit over these shoulder gains), and I managed to leave with ONLY a leather jacket. Guys, that's HUGE for me.

I can't tell you how much better it has been to get ready. I would usually spend a few minutes sorting through the 60 (and I am being literal there) workout shirts I had to find that ONE favorite one to wear, but now I only have favorites in there, and it takes me seconds to grab something and be ready to hit the gym. It's so nice to look through my drawer of leggings and not have to tear it apart looking for that ONE pair...only to have to re-roll them all to make it organized again. There's only a handful in there now, and I can easily grab it and complete my outfit.

My closet right now has ONLY things that I love and actually wear in it. When I did my first two huge purges, I thought that I had nailed it. After all, I had purged an entire closet FULL of things...but I had no idea that I was still hanging onto a lot of unnecessary items. And that there was more progress to be made and guys, I am loving it. I look in there and only see things that I really do wear, and I think that having Ashley come over and really be honest with me and hold me accountable made all of the difference, so I recommend getting some wine and having a friend come over if you are feeling overwhelmed by your closet.

Okay, so with the money...guys...this is so good. It pays for HALF of a round trip ticket to ROME!! Isn't that crazy? I am going to Rome! Gaaah! Going with my best friends in February, and this little purge is right around half of the cost of my tickets. I have never been and I can tell you with absolute certainty that nothing (even the spendy graphic tees) in my closet mean as much to me as the opportunity to go to a new place that I never dreamed I would get to see. (wonder how many times I could have gone already if I didn't buy all of that stuff??)

So here goes...an honest, real effort to continue to say 'no' to stuff. And shoot, if it means I get to travel the world....I am IN!!

--PS: honest thank you to all of the people that came and bought things from my closet. It wasn't about the money as much as it was about getting rid of it...and hoping that a friend could find joy in it and finally put it to use. I have loved seeing pics of people wearing the things that were just collecting dust in my house. So thank you!

WAKE UP CALL

Today I had a moment. Well, a lot of moments actually. It's kind of a long story, but I think the story is what kinda gets you thinking, so bear with me. There's a point....promise.

I woke up to my alarm for the gym, noticed I got a text and it was saying that someone scored the new mini Nintendo just after midnight. I sat up in my bed and panicked. I didn't realize it was released at midnight, I thought I had all day today to snag one!

A few months ago, I came up with this Nintendo as a gift for Cory for Christmas. Cory was a minimalist before it was cool. Which makes birthdays and Christmas harder than a Rubik's cube. That's probably not an exaggeration, I honestly probably could solve a Rubik's cube before I could think of a gift for Cory. He's that tough. He never wants anything, and when he does want something, we are fortunate enough to be able to just get whatever it is. (It's usually always something small and simple, like a video game.)

So you can imagine how stoked I was to find out about this little Nintendo. It's inexpensive, small, and the games are all on it..so I don't even have to buy games! That's a minimalist's dream!!

So at 530 this morning, the panic set in. I quickly start searching online, but it's not sold anywhere online, only in stores. The Target by me said they won't carry it. The Targets in nearby cities say there are some in stock! But can I manage two toddlers to snag one?? Tough to say. So I check eBay. Of course there are already countless sellers that somehow scored half a dozen of them and are selling them now for 5x's the price. EYE ROLLLLLL.

Go to the gym, still thinking about it. What's my play? How do I get one?

I get home and talk to Cory about it. I ask Cory and he of course says "I wouldn't worry about it babe, I don't need it" Because he honestly just doesn't care. But I need a gift for him, right??!

 I keep looking into it, because I am crazy and what's this?!?! The target by me is about to open and they have some??! EEEEP! I plop some shoes on my kids who are still in their pajamas and hustle out of the door. No time to grab  myself a jacket, this is an emergency!! (if this is making you cringe yet, it should be!) I buckle the kids in...throw the car into drive and go....almost running into the storage units in the garage... it was a close one. Whoops, so I throw it into REVERSE and back out of the driveway. Off to Target with my kids covered in their breakfast!

I am checking my phone again at a stoplight. Crap. The Target by me now says it's sold out. So I am still on track to get to the next city, and figure, why not. My kids are already loaded up, I am going to get one of these dang things.

Car accident. I think a pretty bad one. There are cops and tow trucks blocking the road. We were at a complete standstill. The panic sets in. You know that nervous sweat?! Yeah. Freaking out. I am not going to make it in time to get one! (nevermind worrying about the people in the wreck, right?! CRINGEEEEE) I check my phone again and guess what...that store says it's sold out now too. BLEH!

So I get on the exit and head east to check a Target that says it's still in stock. Their phone won't work, but I keep calling, hoping someone can tell me if I am wasting my time on driving out there or not, but I can't get through. I make it there. Pull my kids out and do a mom-jog into the Target. I ask the first employee I see if there are still any, he says "No, we sold out when we opened this morning" (Which btw was 22 minutes before I got there) And I said "Your site says there are still some here" and I have a hint of an attitude. He said something about the website not updating fast enough yet, I can't be sure since I was already kind of walking away with all of my attitude with me.

HOW DARE TARGET. Ya know?? HOW DARE THEY HAVE ME DRIVE TO ANOTHER TOWN TO GET A VIDEO GAME?!?!

As I am walking to my car, I imagine complaining to Target. If they had just answered the phone, I wouldn't have gone all the way to another town. If they had just had a better system, I would have known it was sold out and not wasted so much of my morning on this.

I see a line in front of the Game Stop next door to the Target. People sitting in lawn chairs, waiting for the store to open to snag one.

I put the kids in the car and head all the way home. Messaging Cory, telling him how absolutely mad I am.

And it hit me. Like a truck. A truck full of Nintendos. Nintendos? Nintendi? What's the plural for Nintendo?

Anyway. I am driving home, with all of my sass. And I start thinking about how I acted. How I wasn't my usual "please and thank you" self that I usually am to retail people that take the time to answer my questions. I had an attitude with another human being simply because his store didn't have enough video games in stock for me? Did I really do that?

C R I N G E

All the cringe.

I wasn't worried about that guy's feelings. I wasn't worried about the person in a wreck on the highway.  I had complete tunnel vision. Over a game. A GAAAAAAAME.

There are people in the world that today woke up wondering if they would find food...clean water...shelter. And here I am, being an entitled little brat because I didn't get a gaming console today. There are people who put their kids on little rickety boats to cross seas, to find safety for their family. And here in America, we camp out outside of a store to be the first person to have some hot new item.

How lucky am I that I was born in America? I woke up today and the only thing I worried about was this game. I walked to my kitchen and poured myself some cold, clean water. I ate breakfast and even had multiple choices. I drank a coffee that costs more money than what some people make in a day in some parts of the world. And I just became absolutely disgusted by it.

I'm not saying that wanting things is bad. It's easy to want things. But my hope is that maybe if we take a step back, and look at our lives. Take a minute to feel grateful that we have clean water running out of our faucets, then maybe things like not getting a Nintendo wouldn't put us in such a bad mood?

I am honestly a little ashamed of myself today. I really forgot about the big picture for a few hours.

PS: I am not saying that if you stand in line for something that you really want, that I am judging you. I am not. We all have our things. You might judge me for what I do in my free time (I listen to podcasts like a complete nerd...and that may not be your thing, so I can't judge you for your thing)
But I realized that I was not kind to others today, because I was being a brat. And I really hope that this post can be a reminder to you if you find yourself frustrated like this...that there is a bigger picture and that trivial things should never make us be unkind to a fellow human. That we are lucky to be here, that even if we don't have much, we are lucky for what we do have.

If you had a clean glass of water today. If you slept under a roof. If you ate a meal. You are a lucky one.

Here is a link to a non-profit that you can donate to the people who do live on less than a dollar a day. http://livingonone.org/donate/

Now if you'll excuse me...I need to have several seats.

Play

I have done a few rounds of purging in my house. The biggest was our garage sale in May. Since then I have taken a few Jeeploads to the D.A.V. and it just keeps getting better and easier in so many different ways that even though I have been reading books/blogs and watching YouTube channels and listening to podcasts on decluttering. I knew what to expect, they told me how good it would be...but guys, I am serious. This is good.

So. G O O D.

This past weekend, I spent most of my Saturday and Sunday continuing the purge process. It was way easier to look at items with fresh eyes and say "nope, don't need it...don't even know why I have it." I got through both kids' rooms and let go of countless odds and ends-type toys that had no real purpose here. A trillion stuffed animals, most of which he only touched when he pulled them out of their bin and threw them across the room in an attempt to "play." Some of the things I would stare at and feel a little guilty because I remember who bought it for him and what occasion it was for. But I needed to be realistic. He didn't play with them...and those stuffed toys are just housing dust. I kept a handful that he plays with/carries/sleeps with. But the rest went. I got rid of large toys that had very little play value. They took up more space than what they were worth. Part of me still feels a little guilty about some of it, just because I know the people who bought them worked hard for their money that they spent on his birthday or on Christmas. But he honestly wasn't playing with pretty much any of it. And I needed a change. And I am so glad I did it.

Charlotte's room was easier. She's younger...but has also just plain grown out of the majority of toys she had. Lots of rattles, etc. They had served their purpose, although I realize now how few of them ever made it to her hands. We had our favorites, the rest pretty much sat there for a year now.

Okay, let me tell you why this is so good. Because this is the best part. Not only do I feel better as a "stay at home mom" because my house is generally WAY cleaner... but my kids feel better. After my weekend purge, I noticed the difference immediately on Monday morning. They have been playing together so much better than they EVER have. Usually one or both would constantly be at my feet, looking for entertainment. Not anymore. Right now, they are playing on the living room floor while I pound this blog post out, I have timed it, it's been 40 minutes of quiet play so far. And it's been like this daily all week. They have gone into their rooms, unprompted...and just played.

I know that just sounds crazy. You wouldn't think kids would play better with fewer toys. I would have always thought the more toys, the more options to play, the better. Completely opposite from the truth. They are having fun together. They aren't throwing toys for fun. They sit and play. They pretend together. And they do it for longer periods than they ever have before. And this is huge for me because I work from home full-time, so these quiet times are perfect for me to try to hammer out some hours at work. It's been honestly amazing.

Another great result has been how much less I have to do after they play. They played alone in Jack's room for a few hours yesterday, but I had minimal cleanup. I had to put some play food back in the kitchen, pick up some musical instruments...but it took me less than five minutes. Same with the rest of my house. I had to load a half load of dishes, pickup a handful of things in the living room, and boom, I was done. Less than 10 minutes, total. And my house was clean. I woke up to a clean home. I usually would have an actual mountain of toys to clean up in Jack's room alone, which would take me at least a half hour. But last night, I had so much free time that we sat in Jack's room and had a family sing-a-long/dance party...because I wasn't stressed about getting the house to look even moderately picked up.

Guys, it's so good. I can't even explain it to you. I'm trying so hard...but I'm falling short. I can't put all of these good feelings into words. I can't tell you how relieved I feel. I know it probably still sounds crazy, and maybe it is crazy...but it's the best decision I have made in a LONG time.

Time is Money

I used to catch myself thinking about a purchase and thinking "it's ONLY x amount of dollars, which ONLY took me x amount of hours to earn" and it would often lead me to buying the silly random item on clearance at Target. Rugs, shoes, whatever. It was a problem.

I still look at things and think about the money and hours it took me to earn it...but now I have a curved scale on what it's worth in regards to my time. My time is absolutely priceless. I don't get any of it back. Ever. It's gone. So am I going to work for two hours of my LIFE to own another brown pair of boots?? No thanks.

Now, I am not perfect, as discussed in my last blog post. I still shop. But I am better every single day. Every day I have more available time. When I spend less time looking for my water bottle because it's not surrounded by dishes I don't use, less time sorting laundry, reorganizing countless shoes...

After you buy something you don't realize the effort you will likely put into owning it. So much effort that it ends up owning you. (insert Fight Club image here for good measure). You own those shoes. Now you get to find a place for them, decide if you are going to keep the box, care for them, try them on 800 times and probably still go with your tried and true comfortable shoes, feel guilty if you have only worn them once, put them back 30 times a day when your kid tosses them out of the closet, pack them up when you move...etc etc. And that's just one pair of shoes. Think of ALL the stuff you own. Your knick-knacks that you have to dust, holiday decorations that you have to spend an entire day bubble-wrapping and storing every year,  and we can keep going on and on here.

If and when you start the purge process, and you stare at a shirt with the tags still on...and you feel guilt because you never even wore that shirt... so you put it back on the hanger and tell yourself you will wear it the next time the opportunity arrives...just stop. You won't. If you haven't worn it in the 8 months or years since you bought it, you likely won't wear it now. Let it go. Don't spend time staring at it today. And don't pick it up on your next night out, try it on, still hate it, throw it on your bed and have to rehang it when you get home...and continue to beat yourself up by its presence. That money is gone. Your time is more valuable.

And when it comes time to just let it go, feel free to have a garage sale or take it to a consignment store, or if it's (still) valuable, sell it online. But also be realistic about it. If you know it will fetch you $1 at your garage sale, along with other 50 cent items...maybe re-evaluate if that is how you want to spend your weekend? Haggling with people who offer you 50 cents instead of the dollar you're asking for your new Express tank. It's not worth it. If you feel like it is, then by all means...but just stop and think about it. Your time is worth more than all the money that your closet could get you in a garage sale.

When staring at this stuff, don't think about it as a waste if you learned from it. It's only a complete waste if you do it again next week on another identical shirt. Don't make the same mistakes, don't waste more of your time and hard-earned money. Learn from it and say goodbye.

Decide what your time is worth. Because I can promise you it will change the way you look at how you spend it. The next time you are polishing a vase...ask yourself if you would rather be playing with your kids/dog/cat? These things can weigh you down and you may not even realize it yet. Things can hold you back. Things can rob you of your life. I know that kinda sounds absurd...but I hope that it at least gets you thinking about it.

Capsule Wardrobe

Hey y'all! I'm baaaaaack!

I took a little break from the Facebook world, but I am back and ready to talk about some changes that I have kept making (and some setbacks!)

I have done overall very well with getting rid of excess stuff in our house as well as not adding more to it. I can honestly say that I have made HUGE progress with not purchasing clothing for my children, I don't think I have bought them anything since I started this journey (other than some pajamas that were needed or a hat that my daughter wouldn't leave Target without! haha) But I have had zero giant online purchases on things that were "just a good deal." And if you know me, that is awesome because buying them clothing/accessories was one of my favorite "hobbies" HA!

Now, me on other hand, I have been losing some weight and I was very excited to go down (a few!) sizes in clothing and I did maaaaaybeeeee buy more than I technically needed. I was just excited about how I looked in clothing and it made a lot of things hard to turn down. I will say that I am still WAY better with that also. I used to buy pretty much anything if it was cheap, now I actually look at it, and really think about it...and I would say about 90% of the time I still put it back.

Most of my damage was done on swimsuits, VS is discontinuing their line and had some incredible deals...and I was very excited for a vacation with Cory in Cancun...aaaand the thought of wearing a TWO piece just made my wallet basically empty itself! I bought more than I needed, I see that now, but I honestly have no regrets. It kept me excited to get up in the morning and keep working out, so I don't regret any of it!

I will also admit that I might have been sucked into a promo to get a free tote bag, which I told myself I would never do...but it is fab and I don't regret that either!

Okay, so, about this capsule wardrobe... I have talked to Cory about this a few times and I was honestly just scared to try it. Which is completely silly when you think about it...it's just shirts! haha. But I really want to give this a shot and I am hoping it will not only make my life easier, but also kind of reel me back in with my shopping. I am hoping that it will show me that I have everything I need and there really isn't any other tank tops that will "make my wardrobe complete" (I will definitely have to stay off Pinterest this fall though, AMIRIGHT?)

The idea is to keep it to 33 items (not including things like socks, underwear, etc) And I will definitely be tweaking it...because I workout six times a week, so I have a TON of exercise clothing (tanks, yoga pants, sports bras) and they all get a lot of use, so I won't be changing that *too* much just yet. But I realized I was holding onto some business casual items that I really just have no use for anymore...I work from home, and I wear my workout clothing while I work (another reason why I use it all so much...oh and I go to Target in them too!)

So a lot of things needed to go. I realized how many repeats of shirts I had, even after my HUGE purge in May. Lots of sweaters or tops that were close enough in style/print that I just didn't need them both. And I managed to STILL have two black blazers, which is just silly since I wear graphic tanks 8 days a week.

I also packed up anything that was too big, no matter how much I love it still. I know I won't reach for anything that is too loose. Also had the mindset to get rid of a lot of things I considered to be sentimental back in May. I just didn't see it the same way this time around! Purged around 50 items...and it only took me a few minutes.

So. Many. S T R I P E D. Tops.

I realize the pictures may not  look too different, but I promise there is way more space in there. The bottom is all workout clothing. Top is all of my dresses, rompers, tops, light jackets, etc.

I feel like I did pretty well, but I know that with a little more time and confidence with a smaller wardrobe, I will be able to purge again easily. I am getting closer and closer to where I want to be. Baby steps, folks!!


Thanks for reading! I hope to show even more improvement soon.
I'll leave you guys with some blog posts that I enjoyed about wardrobe reduction:
http://bemorewithless.com/how-to-build-a-capsule-wardrobe/
http://theeverygirl.com/how-to-create-a-capsule-wardrobe

Perspective

I know, I know, I love everything about this change. But I mean it. I really love all the ways it has changed my attitude about everything. From material things, to my time, to the people I love, to money...it has shifted my focus in more ways than I imagined it would.

This is embarrassing but for Jack's first birthday (over two years ago now), I had ordered one of those cute little chalkboard signs that had all of his milestones on it. I probably spent too much time looking for the absolute perfect one on Etsy. Then I ran and had it printed at a local printing company. It was just what I wanted. I brought it home, and when I got inside, I just barely rubbed it against something and it made a white smear across it from the ink being smudged. I took this pretty hard. Cory, being the amazing husband he is, came up with immediate solutions. He offered to run back to the store and just have it made again. That wasn't good enough, I wanted that one. How in the world was I going to make everyone think I was a good mom if I didn't have an absolutely perfect little chalkboard sign like the ones I saw on Pinterest? Cory ended up just lightly rubbing the ink over most of the sign and it actually gave it more of a chalkboard feel, it looked like it was written on a used chalkboard...it turned out just fine. I survived it. The party was still great. My son was shown a ton of love that day. And I am still a (relatively) good mom...perfect sign or not.

I can't believe how different I feel about parties these days. Charlotte's birthday was just last week. And I had bought her decorations on sale a few months ago. They have been sitting in a box in her closet, waiting for their big chance to shine. Simple stuff-- a couple of paper lanterns, napkins, etc. I didn't spend much money, but I was still excited about it.

Today was actually the day that we were going to have her party. It was going to be at her Grandma's house, where there is a big, beautiful in-ground pool. But I had to cancel that party because my entire family (myself included) have all been sick for about a week now. I hoped so much that we would somehow get over it just in time, but it wasn't the case. I had to cancel. And it broke my heart, mostly because I feel bad for Charlotte. She won't have a first birthday party. But you know what? She is sitting here on the floor, ruining a UPS envelope and she is as happy as a clam. I know she won't ever hold a grudge over a party that we honestly couldn't make happen. And we are all otherwise happy and healthy, so I am even less frantic over this party mishap than I was about Jack's chalkboard.

P E R S P E C T I V E

There are FAR worse things that can happen to a family than an upper respiratory infection and a cancelled party. Things that I don't even want to mention because I can't imagine any of it happening to me.  And this process I feel has honestly made it so much easier to focus on what's important. When you start seeing things for what they are...just things. And when you start seeing your time as more valuable than anything else-- you start to shift all your focus on the good stuff like the people you love, time for yourself, or just a good book. I haven't browsed Etsy for hours in a very long time...I haven't spent time sulking over something that broke or a shirt that got stained. I have used my time and energy more on the things that really matter. My kids. My husband. Myself.

We have booked a vacation to a beach. We are going to more Royals games this year. We are going indoor-skydiving in just a couple of weeks. We have said "yes" to everything we could find a babysitter for. That's where my time and money is going to these days...memories with the people I love.