2018

With 2018 quickly approaching, I thought I'd share a few of my resolutions goals for the upcoming year.

1. Set boundaries. Goooooood night, I need this one. I am just too easy going. Too giving. Too willing. Even when it means it puts me or my own family on the backburner.

Which brings me to 2: Say "no" more often. Not in a rude way. But just saying "I can't, but thank you" or "good luck"  I need to say 'no' to events that I just don't want to go to.  I need to say 'no' when too much is being asked of me. I need to say 'no' when it doesn't serve me.

Also related ...3.  Stop making other peoples' problems MY problems. Its what I do. Its natural to me. I always want to help. Someone can say "my couch has a hole in it" and my brain immediately thinks "I HAVE A COUCH, DO YOU WANT MY COUCH?? HERE'S MY COUCH! TAKE IIIIIT!" And that's just the easiest example, I can think of plenty more emotionally complex ones that take a larger toll on my peace. And those scenarios are usually when I am going out of my way to "help" and the person is still just living their carefree life, not worried about a thing, while I carry whatever load I took on. (please look into co-dependency if you feel like this is you. You don't have to keep doing these things, you can live YOUR life without the burdens of other peoples' choices. I know co-dependency is linked to alcohol and drug use frequently, but it can relate to just about anyone who feels this way)

4. Let go. The purging has been good. So good. It feels better all the time. And I want to keep this up. And it just miiiight include people this time.

5. Use less. I love finding new ways to consume less, its like a little mini-hobby (gosh, that makes me sound old) But I love when I know I can make less of an impact on the planet with a small change. The average woman throws away 300 POUNDS of feminine products in her life, and that's just one woman! I encourage you to do this as well, look around you and find ways that you can cut back. Reusable paper towels, use less soap, reusable grocery and produce bags, try to do all of your errands at once to save gas, etc. It will save you money and if we all do it, it will make a positive impact on the only planet we have!

6. Wash my makeup off at night. I rarely wear it, but when I do, its for 3 days straight (I know some skin care gurus are probably cringing on that one...sorrrryyyy)

And finally :
 7. Say sorry less.

Ch Ch CHAAAAAAAAAANGES

Hey guys!! It's been forever, right?  Sorry about that (if you cared. If you don't care...then...you're welcome? haha)

I check my Timehop and Facebook memories every single morning, and I always love what I see. Tons of posts of my kids and videos of them just being babies. Its a great way to start my morning, and to remember how lucky I am. Today when I checked it, I saw a post about that time I went absolutely crazy over a Nintendo that I couldn't find to buy (you can cringe at that post here : https://ex-cess.blogspot.com/2016/11/wake-up-call.html ) PS: still don't have that Nintendo, Cory never cared...and I honestly forgot it existed until I read that post this morning.

And it made me realize that I have not kept anyone up to speed on all of the changes going on around here...exciting changes. And today seemed like an oddly perfect day to pick the blog back up because I am feeling SO SO SOOOOO good about the things happening in my world, so here's what I have going on right now! -- This is going to be a LONG one, because you guys know me, I just keeeep talking!

Just last week, I put a ton (and I mean a literal TON) of things in my garage and I opened up my home to my friends to come "shop" in it. There were things like name brand shoes, clothes, purses, and home decor, etc etc. I charged $1 for most things and meant to charge $3 for things that I specifically remember being pricey, but when it came time to ask money from people that I love, I never made the price that high! Most things went for $2 or less, which honestly made me shiver numerous times. I was watching shirts that I spent $30ish on...leave my house for $1. There were times that I almost said "sorry, I changed my mind!!!' and tried to keep the sweater that still had tags on it...but I held strong and I let it go. All of it. Purses that I spent hundreds on left for $10 or less. But every single thing I sold had been sitting in my closet, unused for as long as I can remember. So it wasn't really about the money, it was about my peace. Business casual clothes that I have not needed in at least two years were still cluttering up my closet, making it hard to find pieces that I really loved. I had stared at all of it and felt actual guilt every time I browsed my closet. Guilt that this tee doesn't fit me anymore, or that this dress *still* has a tag on it and I *should* wear it. But I never did. They were passed over on countless date nights, over and over again.

GUILT.

Ashley Thomas (you guys probably know her! She's one of my favorite tell-it-like-it-is humans on this planet) came over and got real with me. She went through every single thing in my closet and put them in piles. She could tell immediately by my face if it was something I really loved. And she forced me to make decisions (or made them herself) that at the time, kinda burned me. She threw some shirts in the "get rid of" pile that actually made me physically upset..and I tried to come up with excuses for why I should be allowed to keep most things, but the excuses fell flat (things like "but I paid a lot for it" or "what if I need that swimsuit cover-up...what if the other 5 cover-ups we just went through spontaneously catch fire?!?!")

So it all left. I made $233 cash from it (I'll let you know my plans for that money later)...which is honestly a drop in a bucket (more like wheelbarrow) to what I spent on it all. But that's something I needed to do (AGAIN!) I needed to stare it all in the face, I needed to see where hundreds (maybe thousands?!?) of dollars went. I needed to watch it all leave, so I could try to make some much needed changes around here. My hope is that I will be inspired by my smaller wardrobe now, that I will quit buying things "just because it's cheap" or "just because its cute". Sure,  I still enjoy buying clothing...but this week has been SO different. I went shopping a few times at my favorite places: Cargo Largo (if you are lucky enough to live near it, I recommend it!) Target, and TJ Maxx.

Cargo Largo has always been a problem. They have such unique and inexpensive stuff that I can go in there not needing a single thing but still spend $100. I was in the market for some black tights to wear under my sweater dresses this season, and of course they had an entire wall covered in different patterns/brands/styles/textures. My impulse was to grab all the ones I loved...which I was able to narrow down to 4...all were black but were just sliiiightly different than the next one. I put them in my cart and moved on. I found dresses, booties, and so many other cute things that I instinctively put in my cart...only to realize that I was doing exactly what I didn't want to do.So I put it all back. All of it, except for ONE pair of black tights. And I probably saved myself an easy $80 by not going crazy in there.

Just got home from TJ Maxx, and I got to go ALONE which is always bad for the wallet. Not having Cory look at me and say "don't you have a sweater just like that at home?" means that I will buy sweaters that are identical to ones that I have at home (**face palm emoji** ) So I did just that, I filled my cart with sweaters, shoes, jackets, and workout apparel. I only went for a black leather jacket, because I feel like it is a staple (and my old leather jacket doesn't fit over these shoulder gains), and I managed to leave with ONLY a leather jacket. Guys, that's HUGE for me.

I can't tell you how much better it has been to get ready. I would usually spend a few minutes sorting through the 60 (and I am being literal there) workout shirts I had to find that ONE favorite one to wear, but now I only have favorites in there, and it takes me seconds to grab something and be ready to hit the gym. It's so nice to look through my drawer of leggings and not have to tear it apart looking for that ONE pair...only to have to re-roll them all to make it organized again. There's only a handful in there now, and I can easily grab it and complete my outfit.

My closet right now has ONLY things that I love and actually wear in it. When I did my first two huge purges, I thought that I had nailed it. After all, I had purged an entire closet FULL of things...but I had no idea that I was still hanging onto a lot of unnecessary items. And that there was more progress to be made and guys, I am loving it. I look in there and only see things that I really do wear, and I think that having Ashley come over and really be honest with me and hold me accountable made all of the difference, so I recommend getting some wine and having a friend come over if you are feeling overwhelmed by your closet.

Okay, so with the money...guys...this is so good. It pays for HALF of a round trip ticket to ROME!! Isn't that crazy? I am going to Rome! Gaaah! Going with my best friends in February, and this little purge is right around half of the cost of my tickets. I have never been and I can tell you with absolute certainty that nothing (even the spendy graphic tees) in my closet mean as much to me as the opportunity to go to a new place that I never dreamed I would get to see. (wonder how many times I could have gone already if I didn't buy all of that stuff??)

So here goes...an honest, real effort to continue to say 'no' to stuff. And shoot, if it means I get to travel the world....I am IN!!

--PS: honest thank you to all of the people that came and bought things from my closet. It wasn't about the money as much as it was about getting rid of it...and hoping that a friend could find joy in it and finally put it to use. I have loved seeing pics of people wearing the things that were just collecting dust in my house. So thank you!